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  • A.P.Malkan

The Importance of Making Mistakes, (I like to call them experiences)

Honestly, I never thought I would be here in this place of my life, single mom and financially struggling to get to a better place for my son and I.

I grew up within a loving household in Alief, Texas. I was a perfect daughter that was obedient and respectful, straight A student from Elementary school all the way to High School, got a full scholarship to Baylor University and that is where it went all down hill in my parents perspective. In my perspective, that was when I became free to explore my identity, to really come into my own and have free will to express my thoughts and opinions.

All of our experiences can be deemed good or bad it truly is a matter of perspective. So here I am in college with expectations from my parents and society that I will graduate top of my class with a Bachelors and hopefully find my husband while I was at it. Well....that was not the path I took. Instead what happened, I flunked out of college, lost my scholarship and ended up enrolling at Houston Community College to get my grades up and eventually graduating from University of Houston! GO COOGS!

Yes this was a different path that I definitely did not see coming, but let me tell you I sure did learn a lot of things.

1) I learned the importance of time management,

2) Taking my "job" seriously,

3) Understanding every decision has a consequence,

4) My decision not only affect me but the others around me,

5) That I am resilient, and I am capable of anything if I put my mind to it!

Could I have learned these lesson a different way? Of course! But this is the way life taught me these lessons.

So were this mistake that I made in my early 20's or were they experiences? I would a 100% say experiences!

Fast forward to now, I was in a relationship that I thought was going to be long term and now we have a beautiful baby boy together. Against my parents wishes I stayed in a relationship with him when we first got together, and I had a baby without getting married. Needless to say my parents were not just unhappy but upset to the point of disowning me. I jeopardized most of my friendships because they did not approve of him either. But I was stubborn. I chose not to see the signs that this person was not a good person. A few years later, after having my son, I finally had the courage to leave him and have started to rebuild my life again.

What did I learn from this situation,

1) Listen to your own instincts,

2) If everyone around is saying the same thing, they obviously see something you do not, so listen!

3) Be careful who you decide to be in a relationship with,

4) Love yourself first,

5) I am worthy, I am deserving, and I am loved.

My parents and even some friends still to this day want to relieve the "mistakes" I made recently and in the past and now I just smile and say "thank you." Again it is all a matter of perspective, and to me these life experiences have shaped me into the woman and mommy that I am, and I AM PROUD of the life experiences I have went through. I am proud of THE MISTAKES I made because I have learned a lot from them!

We ask people, "If you had the chance to do it all over again, would you?" But, I honestly think it's an irrelevant question because we cant go back in time. Coulda, shoulda, woulda...All I can do is learn and have faith in myself that if I am put in a similar situation I will make a different choice and more importantly I hope that my mistakes will help someone else not to make the same ones I did. But then again we are all on our own life journey and path right?

So whats the point of this story? Its not to encourage making mistakes or getting caught up in the choice of word usage ( mistakes vs experiences) , but the moral of all this is to

LIVE LIFE ON YOUR OWN TERMS! If you are living, you will make mistakes! It is part of life and the journey! Imagine how boring life would be if everything went according to plan. The whole point of these experiences is to UNCOVER WHO YOU TRULY ARE!

When you look back on your life, you will realize every experience was essential in shaping your character into the person who are today.

Today, I feel empowered, strong, in love with myself more than ever. My business is thriving again. I have a new zest and thrill for life. I am excited to embark on this journey, trusting the process, sharing my experiences with my son, and motivating and inspiring the people around me!

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